A large part of my inspiration in starting this project was "Julie and Julia." When I saw the movie I thought it might be fun to do something similar, and reading the book this week (which, by the way, is infinitely more hysterical) I decided to finally get going. Anyway, my point is that early on, the author, Julie Powell, describes how she, at the ripe old age of 11, discovered her parents' copy of The Joy of Sex. After I finished laughing myself silly at her descriptions of dirty french words and illustrations of "naked hippies," as well as her frequent and frightening comparisons between TJoS and Mastering the Art of French Cooking, I was inspired to write the limericks below.
Disclaimer: These two poems are incredibly lewd. If you are even the least bit prudish, I strongly, strongly urge you NOT to read them. If you do, well, you were warned.
I once loved a woman of fire
I left when she called me a liar
No sex was the deal
But still I copped feels
And feigning my shame made me tire
-The Totally Fictional, Completely Imaginary, Definitely NOT True Confessions of A Former Thirteen Year Old Boy- (note: I'm hoping this title will eventually be for a collection of poems along the same vane as the one below... I just haven't written those yet)
No sex before marriage is great
It's really quite easy to wait
With five fingered solos
(and one sticky polo)
To Heaven! I've sealed my fate
Quick sidenote: in case it wasn't clear, these two are the two that make up for the day I missed, so I am caught up. Just in case there was any confusion among the imaginary people that I find myself thinking about when I write these posts.
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